It's not often I feel strongly enough to write a letter to the Editor of a paper (yet alone the London Evening Standard) but my boiling blood on reading Sebastian Shakespeare's recent dismissal of self publishers could have been scooped up by Till Lindemann himself and added to the pot of gently simmering assorted body parts in Mein Teil.

So I put spare rib to paper and carved a reply on an overhanging skin parchment to make sure my point was heard.  This is what I wrote:
 
"Sebastian Shakespear...
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